Dee Emm Elms is a new hero for many people on Twitter. Last week she told a story from the days when she worked in a warehouse consolidating orders for a sales team — and remembered an extraordinary moment when she ran up against crooked salespeople simply to get at the truth.
The story is all the more inspiring because of its leading character. The Oregon-based 40-something describes herself on Twitter as resembling Velma from the Scooby Doo cartoon series. And in a touching personal essay on her blog, she remembers also drawing inspiration as a child from the Scooby-Doo character Daphne, “a seeker of truth and justice… Daphne taught me to be inquisitive and not to fear the phantoms that are really just people.”
Her story of sleuthing could almost be a Scooby Doo episode for the internet-era, complete with intriguing clues and scary monsters who turn out to be nothing more than doofuses in the end.
The blog is called “Four-Color Princesses,” describing women in fiction who inspired Elms, and in one entry she also shares with her audience that she has Asperger’s Syndrome, “a so-called ‘high-functioning’ neuro-type along what’s referred to as the autistic spectrum.”
“One of the traits of many people with Asperger’s Syndrome is that they’re very honest in our dealings with other people in the world around us,” she noted.
Though she’s recently published a horror novel, in her story on Twitter this Velma look-alike has run into an unsolved mystery of her own. A special “business team” at the company where she worked was in charge of generating some suspicious leads for the regular salespeople.
Since the business salespeople were judged on productivity, a big quote book created the illusion of progress even as sales didn't exist.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
Part of Elms’ job was to make sure all the orders were shipped — and of course, she’d wanted to get all the information correct.
You'll be shocked to know that the credit card data was very rarely present. I know, you're shocked.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
She jokes, “anyone autistic probably knows where this story is going already…”
I called every single company and spoke to every single person and confirmed we could or could not ship the order.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
It seems like a crucial component in a business operation — and yet somehow, it had never happened.
There were so many thousands of orders that nobody they'd hired previous had done anything but "puttin' out fires"
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
And the amount of flim-flam in the reports was staggering…
You'll be shocked to know that for every valid order, there were roughly 50-100 phony ones.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
And how they'd usually just agreed to accept a quote in order to get the dude off the phone or to get him to stop calling
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
Needless to say, Elms’ research did not go over well with the special business team.
The salesmen, meanwhile … displayed a fury I had never seen nor experienced in my entire life. Blazing Red Lantern rage.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
There was even a certain amount of inter-departmental espionage.
– try to woo me into joining the business side as a salesperson (in reality,they wanted this so they could fire me)
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
It ended badly.
They tried to convince me otherwise for a minute and I said "I'm going to stop acknowledging anyone who discusses me joining the sales team"
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
Their fury grew as their quote log shrank. By the time I was finished, two months later, the total quote value: $18,327.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 13, 2017
This a condensed version of Elms’ story, but before the big hunt for clues was over, two “business team” members had even tried to throw a punch at our steadfast hero in the break room. But fortunately, justice prevailed in the end.
These men had given me absolute hell for months, so I was not sad to see them go.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
My favorite part of the story is the “Business Team” member who insisted that that’s just the way that the real world works.
Being autistic, I of course argued that an honest, direct approach HAD to better in the long term. He called me a fool.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
So the business team member buttresses his argument with — of all the things — a book by the founder of Farrell’s Ice Cream parlors.
That you should wheel and deal with everyone and not apply rules to and the whim of people should determine your business ethics.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
This proved to be an unconvincing argument.
The salesman beamed "Yes! You know him?"
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
" … I don't know that that's true," the salesman said. "He's very successful and-"
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
I handed him back the book and said "thanks, but that's ok." I've since read it in order to try to understand how people think like tbis
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
And one fateful Monday, our hero returned to work only after the entire “Business Team” had been fired. That one angry salesman was still there — leading to one truly epic comeback.
And, as flatly as I could, I said to him: "Looks like they gave you the pickle"
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
In the end, the story was a grand metaphor — for why Elms believes that Twitter has a problem dealing with abusive bots. “To me, this is precisely what needs to be done to every single bigot on Twitter.”
We need to acquire the tools to close their quote book. Advertisers — revenue streams –forums. Force them into reality
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
But it was the story of Elms’ workplace heroics that drew the biggest kudos on Twitters. Soon there were dozens and dozens of replies thanking Elms for sharing the story. One sysadmin called it an “Epic, epic thread on pragmatically demolishing unified, organized packs of liars with a relentless appeal to reality.” And one IT manager marveled at the way Elms had typed out the entire story across a series of tweets — each one replying to the previous one — stitching together dozens of 140-character bursts into a compelling narrative. “Congratulations on a) beating the bullies and b) getting to the end of your story without Twitter ruining the threading! :)”
Ultimately one reader condensed all of the tweets into a single page on Storify.com. And all the replies together formed a collective wave of approval for honest and hard-working number cruncher who stood their ground and fought for the truth — even when outnumbered — just like any good Saturday morning cartoon hero would’ve done.
And the thread ends with our real-life hero getting some much-deserved appreciation — and responding in kind.
— Dee Emm Elms (@d_m_elms) June 14, 2017
Feature image via Pixabay.